A poor choice

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A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:24 pm

It's taking time to acclimate to being cared for. To get used to having a group of people around him who give a damn about what he says, to be respected if only a little bit by people older than him. It's nice to have someone beside him who is willing to help. It makes him feel like he's worth being kept around. He'd be lying if he said it didn't make him jolt slightly when they raised their hands to show affection to him. It hasn't sunk in just yet.

Even in Fennmont he'd only had so many friends. Prinn was about the end of it. In Leronde he'd only had Leia. But here, here he has Milla, Elize, Leia again, Rowen, and... Alvin.

He's not always sure of him, with the lying and how he ratted on them in Sharilton, but Alvin seems to shoulder every blow meant for him every time. Sometimes it's meaningless stuff, like slight claws he can block and hard nudges from scorpions, but this time it's for real. It's not a simple blow that one could heal in combat, it's a stinger almost completely through his abdomen. It takes everything he can to stifle his fear and terror and to get him out of the fight. It's too much, Milla had agreed, and they'd run as quickly as they possibly could.

It's hard to carry him, even with his conditioning. But he has to. Milla offers to help but he knows this is his own fault and he has to do it himself. They're back to the inn in what feels like too long, because of breaks for stabilizing his wound. He hefts him onto the bed of the room--the rest of the party elsewhere. It's his burden to carry.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:43 pm

It had all started when he'd saved Jude from getting arrested in Fenmount. He'd had no real rhyme or reason for it aside from his own whim, but that's where it had all started. He was beginning to regret that decision. It made him do stupid, reckless shit like jump in front of Jude every time he's about to take a hit and this time he'd gotten sloppy about it. Somewhere, he imagines his uncle is laughing at him for getting attached, for developing feelings that only get in the way. In some ways, he's laughing at himself, too.

Since when was he afraid to die?

Now that the possibility was all too real the panic welled up in his chest and made him feel sick to his stomach. But then again, maybe that was just the near mortal wound he had festering there. It hits him as he's laying on the bed. He doesn't want to die. He hasn't even gotten to go home yet. He hasn't killed Milla. He hasn't even kissed Jude yet. Why that's on his mind at this time is beyond him, but it is.

"Jude," It's hoarse and he can barely croak it out. "Give it to me straight. It's bad, isn't it?"

He can't see anything beyond the deep red soaking every part of his formerly white shirt. That couldn't be a good sign. It didn't really hurt anymore, he didn't feel much of anything. That also couldn't be a good sign.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:50 pm

His eyes hurt. That's all he can think about while he's tugging Alvin's clothing off of his torso desperately. Normally this would be embarrassing, scary, something he would blush thinking about and hope that Alvin would further it. Now it's just panic, and his eyes are dry, and he feels like he's going to cry, but he has to push it down and keep moving his hands because if he doesn't then the first person he's ever really wanted to kiss is going to be dead in a matter of moments.

"It's okay. It's fine. It'll be fine." He says, and it's more for himself than it is for Alvin's sake. The shirt is off and he shuts his eyes tightly and focuses more mana than he knows he should allow himself to cast the arte. There's only so much he can manage and he has to stop, panting hard, hands shaking. He has to keep going, he thinks, heart pounding. The wound looks better, but only by a margin. He stifles a weak but dry sob.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:59 pm

He's going to die. The way Jude is saying that...he's pretty much done for. Too bad. He had really, really wanted to kiss him, too.

"This wasn't really the context I was hoping for whenever I thought of you ripping my clothes off," he mumbles and it's half hearted at best.

Why is he still teasing him like this? He's going to die and he's trying to make Jude feel better. 

He really is an idiot. And soon he'll be a dead idiot.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:03 pm

"No. No." His hand balls into a fist and shakes, and he hits the bedside table. "I won't let you die because of me!" He almost shouts, but his voice cracks far too much for it to be one.

He moves back over him and squeezes his eyes shut again to cast the arte, trying to calm his breathing, trying to just focus and not think about anything like that. It's hard. It's past hard, it's nearer to impossible.

But the wound is closing up, even if his hands are shaking horribly. He just has to focus.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:07 pm

"If you keep straining you're going to die, too," Alvin says sharply and he tries to lift a hand to stop Jude but his body doesn't respond properly. He can't really feel anything so that's no surprise but after a few more tries he finally manages to grab Jude's arm. "They need you more than they need me. Stop."

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he had long resigned himself to this fate. It was inevitable in his line of work, that was just how it was. 

He really would have liked to go home, though.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:12 pm

He's still not crying. That's what counts. He's trying very hard to stop it, too, so it's comforting to know at least that is working.

"...They might not need you, but I do." He admits, his voice weaker yet, somehow. He shakes off his hand easily and resumes the arte, breathing deeply. Those words... he's been wanting to say them for so long. I need you. It's nothing but the truth. The wound is getting closer. Just a little more...
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:22 pm

If he wasn't sure before, he's sure now that he must be delusional. There's no way he really heard Jude say that. It sounds too good to be true. Therefore, he's dying, and his mind is playing tricks on him to let his death be a bit less painful. That's the only explanation.

"Jude," It's barely audible, and he wants to say more but he's suddenly aware of all the pain all at once and he hisses and digs his hands into the sheets of the bed. The shock is wearing off and the wound is closing and fuck if it doesn't hurt worse than anything he's ever felt. All too suddenly he's wishing he was dying again, numb and painless. He tries to stay still but he's practically writhing in agony at this point.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:27 pm

It's close. It's very close and he hurts, so badly, his head is killing him almost too literally and he has to make himself stop. He groans in pain and lets his hands drop to his sides, panting harder than even coming from the hardest fight yet. It hurts to move, but he rifles through the bag to take an orange gel out and power through the artificial flavor, hands still shaking. Seeing Alvin in pain like that makes a wave of guilt wash over him so he takes a deep breath again, relaxing his mind and trying very hard not to cry all the same.

"...I can't let you just die..." He mutters softly, looking to his face. He pushes himself back over and rests his hands on him again. The wound is nearly closed. It's close to being able to be bandaged. Again he channels the arte and breathes rhythmically.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:33 pm

It hurts. So bad. This is nothing compared to what Gilland put him through as a child but even that isn't enough to make him stifle the pained, pathetic whimpers he's making. Jude is the last person he'd ever want to see him like this but there's not much to be done about that now.

It's so close to being closed but it feels like an eternity before it suddenly stops hurting as if he's going to die from the shock of just the pain. It's much duller now, much, much duller but that still leaves it at about an eighty on a side scale of one to ten. 

"Jude," he's panting and barely able to catch his breath but he still says, "you really did ruin my favorite shirt."

He grins at him through the horrendous pain.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:38 pm

It's too much. He can't channel a single thing anymore, but it's closed enough it won't kill him and he can get to bandaging him and he can sleep and Alvin won't be dead.

Jude looks weakly to him, utterly exhausted from trying to be so strong, completely wiped from using so much mana. His joke makes him smile, his weakest yet, and the tears finally drip from his eyes. It's beyond embarrassing and he wipes his face, sniffing and trying to not let Alvin see.

"I'm so sorry..."
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:56 pm

Alvin reaches over and grabs Jude's arm, squeezing it affectionately.

"I didn't think my sorry excuse for a joke was that bad," he says softly, pulling Jude down and wiping away his tears with his other hand. It hurt even to do this but he felt like he owed it to him after all this. He was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to pull Jude close and pass out but that was ridiculously stupid, no matter how nice it sounded.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:02 pm

"No..." He mumbles, trying hard to wipe his eyes. The tears really just won't stop. "I... it's not that, I just... I thought you were going to die because of me..."

He lays his head down against him and sighs, too nervous to bring his arms around him. Even with the situation the idea is still something foreign, something terrifying. He's way too close to passing out. He knows he should make himself get up and fall into the other bed, but he stays there, curled close to Alvin. It's... embarrassing. But he's too weakened to do anything else.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:24 pm

Alvin certainly doesn't mind Jude curled up practically on top of him. He wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him closer still.

"It would have been my fault if I had died," he says softly, and he means it. But he's grateful he isn't dead. Because it gives him all the more opportunity to kiss him now.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:31 pm

His face turns red as he's drawn closer, but he tries to keep himself calm. It's hard to take his words honestly, if only because he knows it really is his own fault. But he ignores those thoughts and enjoys the feeling of being so close. Alvin's bare chest is warm. It makes him more sleepy than even the mana exertion.

"...I still couldn't forgive myself..." He notes softly, then allows himself to adjust his arms to be more comfortable, even if it makes him wrapped around Alvin. His heart pounds at the idea.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:39 pm

Even with the dull ache in his abdomen he can't help but find this position startlingly comfortable. He nuzzles up against Jude, beyond exhausted. They'll find them like this, probably. Unless they're nice enough to get a separate room, which is doubtful. But Alvin doesn't mind getting found in this position, compromising as it is.

"Hey, kid, you should get some rest," he mumbles sleepily.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:42 pm

He takes a deep breath and pushes himself up, though he absolutely gets caught in Alvin's eyes, those eyes he gets so easily distracted by.

"...I have to get the wound bandaged, first." He says softly, still looking to him with a mix of relief and pain in his eyes. His own are still red from the tears, but he feels just a little better. He climbs back down and grabs the bandages from the pack, moving back over Alvin to start to cover the wound.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:49 pm

He sits up enough to let Jude bandage him. It's still oozing blood but nowhere near the volume from earlier. He pushes himself up and looks down at the blood soaked sheets. Nasty and he definitely wasn't sleeping in it.

"Hey, help me to the other bed," he motions vaguely. "We're definitely going to have to pay for those sheets." He laughs but it hurts so he cuts it short.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:53 pm

"It's okay, I'll pay for them." He sighs and moves to the other side of the bed to help him out--he lifts him carefully, nearly in princess style, and lays him onto the other bed. He eyes the wound. The blood isn't seeping through, so it should be alright for now.

"I'll heal you again tomorrow morning." He says firmly, meeting his eyes.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:59 pm

"Don't push yourself," he says, frowning deeply. He grabs Jude's arm again and forces him to meet his eyes. "I mean it."
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:02 pm

His hands shake again, but he sighs lightly.

"...Alright." He eyes the beds in the room in thought, furrowing his brow tightly in thought. The one they'd used was definitely out of commission for at least until they could get the sheets replaced, so for tonight someone would have to share a bed, clearly. "...Do, uh... do you mind me sleeping on the bed with you? I don't want anybody else to have to share." His face is a soft pink at the thought.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:06 pm

"First you rip my clothes off and now you want to sleep in the same bed? People will talk," he tries to joke but he's pretty sure people are already talking about them. Rowen has given him one too many a knowing looks. "At least buy me dinner first," he grins at him.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:11 pm

It only makes his blush worse, but he kicks off his boots and crawls onto the bed anyway, bringing the blanket over them both. He doesn't say a word, but presses himself close, trying not to think about the situation before, under Alvin's arm by his own choice this time. He's still just as warm, and it's comforting.

"...I really was scared..." He pipes up, after a little while in his hold.
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Re: A poor choice

Post by Axton on Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:19 pm

Alvin looks away from him. He had really resigned himself to dying for a while there. And...since when was he afraid of it? He had never been afraid to die before today...

He looks down at Jude. He was likely the reason. It caused his chest to ache thinking about it. There he was, nuzzled up against him so tight, all he would have to do is lean down and kiss him.

But he can't. He's already too attached. It'll just make things more difficult. Even if he desperately wants to toy with him, to press him against the bed and tease him senseless, until he was begging for it.

Alvin shifts slightly, trying to refocus on something less horrible. 

"...yeah, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel there from a while," he says. "But...thanks. You really did save my life, kid. I guess we're even now, for Fenmount."
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Re: A poor choice

Post by sirenangel on Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:28 pm

Jude can feel his stomach flip lightly when Alvin looks at him that way. The closeness certainly doesn't help how he feels, his own chest tightening a little bit at the thought. He looks to him, then looks back away. It's too much to keep looking into those eyes.

He's so glad he's alright. The idea of him being dead... he pushes it out of his mind and presses his face against him.

"...it... it was nothing." He says softly, though it's obvious it meant the world to him. "You took the blow for me... I... I would have died. There's no way my body could have taken that hit."
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