Sleepless Night

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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:58 pm

Alvin holds the jacket in his hands, gripping it so tightly he hears the leather begin to stretch beneath his fingers.

He should stop him from leaving, he should go after him and stop him and hold him in his arms and tell him he didn't mean it and that he loves him too, achingly so.

But he doesn't.

Because at the end of the day, he's a traitor and a coward.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:09 pm

He leaves him there. Even if he knows it'll hurt more to stay it's all he wants to do. But he knows Alvin would just lie again--because he knows what he heard in Sharilton and if he didn't want to say it after Jude had confessed his own feelings then there was still something he was hiding. There was still so much he wanted to know and Alvin didn't want to tell him.

And no, maybe he didn't understand. But he did know, at least, that Alvin felt the same way. As crawls back into the bed and stares at the ceiling in probably the most painful thought process he's ever had, he tries to not let his tears soak the fabric of the bed.

"Milla," He says, later, as his whirring brain had forced himself to get back up (noticing that Alvin had gone back to bed as well) and head downstairs. "...Would you let me stay by your side?" She doesn't say much after his words, only holds her chin in thought momentarily.

"Even with what I've told you, you would still follow me?" She asks, her eyes locked onto him. "To the end?"

"Past it, even." He admits. "I really... admire you. And I feel like a better person when I'm around you. So please," he looks down, then back to her. "Let me stay with you."

She only offers a smile and a nod, but it's enough.

--
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:24 pm

Elympios.

It's been twenty years.

But even that doesn't seem to matter to him. All he can think about is Jude.

Hamil. What had he been thinking...? Nothing else mattered if he could be with Jude. But he'd fucked that up beyond recognition.

He sat on the swingset outside of Balan's apartment building. Elize had already sauntered away, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't. Not with everything that had happened. This was the first time he'd had to parse everything that had happened.

He had to make it up to everyone, somehow, but especially Jude. He had hurt Jude the worst. Maybe he should go and find him, and...

He wasn't sure.

But he had to do something.

He sighed and didn't move from his position.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:32 pm

It's such a different place that it's almost numb to be seeing it as something so different. It's like it's flipped back around to being just a place in Reize Maxia. The people here are curt, but not cruel, and it's busy, but not impersonal and unkind. The crowds were definitely something he wasn't sure he could get used to.

Balan's apartment is cramped. And it's hot out, and he can't sleep to begin with, so it wouldn't matter anyways. All he can think about is Alvin. He should have known it would have come to that. It would have come to that no matter what happened to Milla--it didn't matter.

But the dead look in his eyes still haunts him. He misses him. Seeing him on the Hallowmont and watching him as Presa died only made it worse. He feels nothing but regrets.

He knows if he goes out for air he'll see him. It'll hurt like it always does, but he has to see him. He steps out of the building and stares into the starless sky.


Last edited by sirenangel on Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:37 pm

Jude's here; he's always here. It was inescapable that they'd have to talk it over, eventually. But it still feels too early, too soon.

"Jude," he says, not turning to look at him. "Come here to tell me you don't want me around after all?"
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 1:44 pm

"Kind of the opposite." He says, but it's more of a sigh. He sits on the other swing and squeezing the chain hard in his thoughts. "...I came because I needed to talk to you."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:04 pm

"...I know," he says quietly, looking out onto the city. "Let's take a walk," he offers as he stands from the swingset. "You probably want to see more of the city, right? And this time of night there are no crowds."

Alvin just doesn't want to be near this apartment, with everyone already asleep and close enough that he's afraid of someone discovering them talking.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:08 pm

He nods firmly and stands back up, a little bit hesitant to walk directly next to him. It isn't fear... just nerves. As if Alvin will push him back away.

"I'd like that. Trigleph is nice." He says, softly, the 'except for the crowds' unsaid but clear. "Ready?"
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:15 pm

Alvin nods and begins to walk towards the commercial district, which would be absurdly quiet this time of night.

He's quiet, too quiet, but he doesn't want to broach the topic first. It should be him; he had started this all, after all. But the thought terrifies him, so he stays silent as the walk.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:21 pm

"...Alvin, I..." He starts, after their long stretch of silence, in the center of the district, turning to finally look to his face. "...I forgive you. You have to know that I forgive you." He says these words firmly and doesn't let himself waver.

"You lie, and you lie, and you let yourself be convinced it was easier to try and just kill me than be honest with yourself. I can't just forget that, but I can't just pretend I don't still love you." He pauses. "...And I mean you. The real you."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:32 pm

Alvin really doesn't understand him, can't wrap his mind around Jude still loving him after all of it. He really was a naive kid.

"Jude, I..." he reaches down to touch him, and then decides against it and shoves his hands into his pockets. "...how can you still love me?"
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:35 pm

"Because I can finally see you." He almost laughs, then takes Alvin's hand right from the pocket to hold it tightly. "...And even after it all, even knowing we might not be as close, even with what you did, even all that stupid stuff... you're all I can think about even still."

"...Do you think you still... love me, too?" He asks, softer.


Last edited by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:40 pm

There was never a moment that Alvin wasn't completely infatuated by him. That was the raw truth of the matter. He holds Jude's hand too tightly.

"I..." he looks away from him. "It doesn't matter what I feel, we shouldn't...you shouldn't do this."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:44 pm

"Alvin, I'm tired of pretending I can just move on without you." He almost begs this, but his voice stays as stable as he can will it to be. "I want to be with you. I don't want to walk away or give up or try and take the easiest way out because you're... You're too important."

He doesn't look away, not once, just keeps his hand close.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:49 pm

"Jude," he says and he cups his face, gently. "Just because I love you, doesn't mean...this is right. I tried to kill you, and..."

He sighs heavily.

"Do you really want to be with someone like me?"
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:57 pm

"Would I seriously have wasted all this time on someone I didn't love?" He asks, resting a hand on Alvin's and looking into his eyes. "...You did it because you let yourself believe you had no choice against it. I forgive you. And I'd forgive you again. And maybe hit you until you got the picture." He offers a little smile and squeezes his hand.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:05 pm

He smiles, just slightly, for the first time in a long time.

"Yeah..." he sighs and leans down to plant a small, soft kiss on his lips. "I would deserve it. I probably still deserve some punches."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:13 pm

It's more than just nice to see him smile again. It warms his heart. He can't stop himself from hugging him tightly.

"You do. But it doesn't mean I love you any less." He says, softly, looking up at him.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:16 pm

"You know, after this is over...." he mumbles quietly. "If you're going to stay with Milla, then I...I'm going to stay in Elympios. Become a real mercenary, maybe."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:22 pm

It hurts, certainly, but he knows he has to do what he has to do.

"Do you want that?" He asks, softly, keeping close. "...The life of a real mercenary, I mean." He says, rubbing his neck in thought.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:24 pm

Alvin shrugs.

"What other skills does a guy like me have?" He says honestly. "Honest work isn't my forte."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:27 pm

"Well... I don't know. I think you could do it." He says, sincerely. "You're smarter than you take yourself for. And you're not just a thug."
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:07 pm

"Yeah, and what sort of honest work can you picture me doing, hm?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:16 pm

"I don't know. You're pretty good with money, and people too, so you could go into merchant work." He offers, lifting an eyebrow to him in return.
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Re: Sleepless Night

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:18 pm

Alvin snorts.

"Oh, come on, that's ridiculous," he almost laughs. "Me, a merchant?"
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