Liquid Courage

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Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:11 am

Julius had a problem, and that problem was his little brother practically begging him to let him drink. It was no secret that Julius had a drink every once in a while, especially after some of the harder days at work. Julius had been drinking since he was twelve, and he certainly didn't want that same experience for Ludger. So he had forbade alcohol until Ludger was at least eighteen, and lo and behold almost the second he hit eighteen Ludger had pounced on him, bringing up his promise (had he memorized it verbatim?) every opportunity he got.

So, like the truly irresponsible and enabling brother he was, he had bought Ludger a few assorted types of alcohol to try out in the privacy of their own home after a few months of constant bickering about the issue. He had lectured Ludger almost every night for a week on drinking water inbetween and taking it slow before he had given in.

"I'm serious, Ludger," Julius insists as he hands him his first drink of the night. A rum and coke that had barely enough rum to even taste it. "If you don't like it, you don't have to drink it, and I'll be monitoring you so you had better drink water, too, or you'll regret it."

He sighs, and then softens up a bit. "But try to enjoy yourself, okay?"
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:23 am

Ludger knows what he feels is absolutely disgusting. He's bounced from therapist to therapist around ten times because of them, and frankly at this point he's not even sure he can find one who will understand anyways. It doesn't matter. What he felt for Julius only grew stronger over the four years his feelings had blossomed.

Combined with the way he feels, drinking with Julius sounds absolutely perfect. The idea of it is almost too much for him, so even though he wants it so badly he keeps shut up about it until it's when Julius has said it was alright--and then the flood gates opened and he couldn't resist bothering him about it every day. Obnoxious lectures is enough of a price to pay for getting to drink with him.

He holds the glass carefully, trying to act like he's not totally giddy to be here. "I'll be okay, I promise. You don't have to worry so much, Julius." He says it, but really he loves to be doted on. Even if it's like this. He takes a sip, and it's really not noticeable, so he takes another, somewhat longer drink. "It's good!" He smiles, feeling the warmth already.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:34 am

"Good," he smiles at him and looks over the selection of alcohol he had bought, still debating on whether or not he would allow himself a drink or two. It was a bad idea, which is why he never had more than a drink around Ludger in the first place. The absolute last thing he wanted was to let the alcohol lull him into thinking that those feelings of his were acceptable in any capacity.

Deciding against it entirely he sits down on their couch and pets Rollo, who is conked out on the middle cushion. At least Rollo never judged him for his feelings. Or, maybe that was precisely why Rollo seemed to dislike him so much. He frowns slightly at such thoughts and pushes them from his mind. Tonight was about Ludger, everything else could get pushed to the back of his mind for the time being.

"Get comfortable and we can watch the movie or you've been wanting to watch together," he motions to empty cushion on the opposite side for the couch.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:44 am

He takes another drink and carefully takes it to the couch, leaning against the arm with a sigh. Rollo was in the way again. It's horrible of him to want to lean against Julius, to push the boundaries of their relationship to the breaking point, so the still sober part of himself shoves those feelings away. Soon enough, he thinks.

"Aw. You actually want to watch it?" He asks, leaning slightly over the fat cat. "You're being uncharacteristically giving." He teases, taking another sip. It's almost already gone, and he is frankly, aching for stronger alcohol.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:53 am

"Are you trying to tell me I'm usually stingy?" He teases back, grateful that Rollo was inbetween them. As he pet him, apparently Rollo sensed that he was pleased in any way by his actions and quietly slinked away to nibble on his food. "That hurts, cuts me deep, Ludger."

The truth was, Julius had absolutely no interest in the movie Ludger was so dedicated to getting him to watch, but he would do anything for his brother, including sitting through a three hour long documentary on modern cooking practices throughout the world.

"Are you already finished? What did I say about taking it slow?" He takes the empty glass and replaces it with a glass of water but he contemplates on what to make Ludger next, regardless. "Is there anything in particular that sounds good?"
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:57 am

"A little bit, yeah, you are. You're lucky you're handsome, or else you'll never get a date." He snickers. It's rude, but... he kind of hopes he really never will. He'd be way too jealous for his own comfort. One time, a coworker had made a joking pass at Julius to him and he'd 'accidentally' punched them.

As Rollo runs away he definitely does not scoot over towards Julius at all while he's distracted fetching the water. He sips at it idly, admiring him for only the second he can.

"Well, you know. Whatever you're okay with." He smiles a little bit deviously.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:15 am

"Geez, who knew alcohol would make you so mean," Julius says light-heartedly as he sets about mixing him something else. It's a bit more alcohol than he means to pour into it but Ludger is pretty eager so he figures it should be fine. He hands his brother the next drink; a bloody mary. "You know, you'd probably be better at making these than I am. It's a bit more like cooking than anything else, but here's hoping it's still decent."

Julius seats himself where he was before and it's not lost on him that Ludger is definitely occupying the seat that Rollo had been previously. As he looked at him he tried not to think about how perhaps this had been a mistake after all. He was probably not the best person to be allowed to watch over Ludger in a state like this which caused his chest to ache. It wasn't fair to his brother that he felt like this. It wasn't fair to Ludger that he was incapable of properly caring for him because of said feelings. He sighs lightly and distances himself further, until he's pressed against the arm wrest.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:22 am

"You know I love you." He retorts, and it's true. He loves him. Achingly, absolutely, to the ends of the earth. Until he dies. But he knows Julius will play off his words like it's familial, which, in a weird way, it still kind of is. He watches Julius distance himself subtly, taking a slow sip of the drink. "No, actually, this is pretty good. You might just be good at drink-mixing."

He knows he should be pacing himself, but he's absolutely not.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:30 am

"I love you too, brother," he says and he's never gotten used to the strange way the words sit on his tongue. At first, strange because he in no way held any love for his brother, and then because he really did love him with all of his heart, and now because there was too much love packed into those three words, and not entirely all of it was innocent.

"Well, that's a relief," he says truthfully. "I might be the absolute worst cook in the world but I can at least mix a decent bloody mary."
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:35 am

It shouldn't make his body tingle to hear Julius return those words, and even if he doesn't mean them the way Ludger wants him to, he still means them. He grins over to him, taking another drink and sighing out in relaxation.

"I'm glad we found your cooking niche." He teases softly. "It really is good. Thank you, Julius." He is definitely feeling it, now. Julius is only more handsome like this. He's almost alarmed by how strong his feelings are for him, but he doesn't much care.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:43 am

"You'd better slow it down there, or I'll cut you off," he's mostly joking when he says it, and there's no real bite to his words. Julius realizes he's not particularly interested in stopping his brother from drinking and making mistakes because Ludger is the type of person who only learns the hard way. But, more than that, and Julius is loathe to admit it even to himself, he wonders what Ludger is like after a few drinks. Clingy and far too touchy-feely, perhaps? Over emotional? It would be a change from his typical somewhat stoic demeanor that he's only come to be so good at reading through time.

Worse than even that, Julius wonders if he can pry the truth out of him, maybe when he's sure Ludger won't remember any of this, after a few more drinks, he can sit him down and ask him point blank if there's anything else behind those three words, when he says them so often, despite the fact that he's eighteen now and never even kissed a girl. It was probably Julius' fault that he'd never gotten the chance, anyway. He tended to scare away his brother's dates, or even worse, they tended to fall for him. He had absolutely no interest in women, or men for that matter, but he couldn't openly admit that to anyone, especially not Ludger, especially not knowing the precise reason for that.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:49 am

"Ughhh. Fine, mom." He groans, but it's completely free of malice. He sets down the glass for a little while, to appease Julius if only a little bit. Besides, he's buzzed enough that he feels a little bit dizzy, so he thinks maybe it's a good enough time to stop for a moment.

"...You don't have to worry about me so much." His voice is a little bit soft, and he licks his lips because it feels like there might be some left at the side of his mouth. "...But I like it. I love when you take care of me." He almost giggles. He never giggles. That was a weird side-effect, he thinks, eyes widening slightly. He hopes Julius thinks it's cute. He hopes Julius thinks he's cute. It's only a few minutes before he takes another drink.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 1:56 am

Julius sighs softly at Ludger as he drinks again after just a few minutes but what is there to do about it. He had enabled all of this in the first place, so if things went south and he ended up having to rub his back as he leaned over the toilet, so be it.

Besides, Ludger was already veering directly into tipsy territory at an alarming rate. It was unlike him to be so open about his feelings, at least not since he had turned fourteen. He had closed up significantly around that time but Julius had just accepted it as being what happens when kids get older. He had never had a proper childhood, so what point of reference did he have?

"Well, then you're in luck, because I don't have any plans to stop taking care of you for quite some time," he tells him and it's nothing but the truth. He really would do anything to protect Ludger. Absolutely anything. "Even if it does make me feel like your mother sometimes."
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:07 am

Ludger sighs softly, sets the now-empty glass aside and stretches himself out, unconvincingly pretending to not notice how close he is to Julius now.

It's not like he's usually so forward. Usually he shuts himself out from him, always a little worried about how terrible he is for how he feels. But here, now, with the fuzzy feeling now overtaking his head, he feels... not like an abomination.

"It's not like I've got anybody else like you." He sighs softly, leaning his head against the back of the couch. "So treat me nicely, please." He doesn't look away from him, biting his lip.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:13 am

"Of course," he says as reassuringly as he can while his mind is occupied by thoughts of how absolutely good Ludger looks biting his lip like that. "I would do anything for you, brother, I mean it." He says it softly, but he means every word of it.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:21 am

Oh god, the feeling those words produce in him makes him feel so absolutely powerless. He huffs and moves a little bit closer, tracing a finger along the space between them, eyes still on him.

"Y'mean it?" He asks, voice light, smooth. It's as sultry as he can muster. "Anything...?" His face is flushed, his eyes are half-lidded, and he's hoping Julius takes the bait.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:29 am

"Y...yes," he manages to choke out and suddenly he's entirely unsure of how he's resisted giving in to his most primal urges for such a long time when this is what he has to put up with. The alcohol really had been a mistake. He swallows and composes himself as he stands and crosses the room, back to the kitchen, back to looking over their selection of alcohol. He wanted to make himself something so badly, but if Ludger was going to be like this it was all the more reason not to drink. He couldn't let himself get caught up like this. He certainly shouldn't be enabling him any more than he already has, but maybe another drink will tip him over into just plain sleepy territory and he'll just have to deal with him dozing off at worst. He hopes. Another, deeper part of him hopes this has the opposite affect, but he pushes it down, as he's used to doing.

After a few minutes he hands Ludger his next, and likely his last, drink for the night. Another bloody mary, since he seemed to have enjoyed the first so much. "Still want more?"
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:36 am

He pouts as he rises, idly staring at his ass as he walks, flopping over and waiting quietly. He wiggles himself back up as soon as Julius comes back, carefully (but slightly shakily) grasping the glass. He takes another drink, grinning a little bit.

"'Course I do." He teases, refusing to look away from him. He'd completely forgotten about the movie. Whatever, he thinks, Julius is a better show anyways. "They're really good." He's not lying, but that's not the reason he's downing them so fast. He leans his head against Julius's shoulder.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:42 am

Julius wants to pry him off and distance himself but no doubt Ludger would just attach himself more fervently, so he could allow this much.

"You probably only think they're so good because you're slowly approaching drunk territory," he says lightly and he looks down at him with all the love in the world. He really did love him, even if he was desperately in love with him.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:47 am

"Nooo." He shakes his head firmly, nuzzling in closer. "...I like them because you're with me when I'm having them. I like everything better with you, brother." He's tired of being so distant. "...I love you so much."

He loves how he looks at him. But he wants more.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:52 am

Well, so much for hoping that it would make him sleepy. Now he was just clingy. The complete opposite of what he wanted. This was some sort of divine punishment for allowing this to happen, wasn't it?

Ludger was so completely unaware of what his touch did to him, of what the complete innocence of those words was twisted into in his mind. He looked down at him and brushed his hair from his face, which was flushed a pleasant red at this point. He was far too cute for his own good, especially like this.

"Come on, Ludger, you've...probably had enough by now," he sighs and says, "actually you've probably had too much. And, I love you too, but I really am cutting you off now, okay?"
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:56 am

"Okay, okay..." He sighs, solemnly, then looks into his eyes. "Don't you want any?" He asks, softly, offering the glass to him. "You'll make me feel silly to be drinking alone." He begs, softly, trying to not make too much contact for fear of making him shy away.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 3:00 am

Julius is almost too eager to take the glass from him and he takes too large a large gulp from it and then another one shortly afterwards. The vodka hits him fast and hard but he finishes off the tall glass in just another moment, setting it aside.

"Satisfied?" he teases him softly but the edges of his vision soften and Ludger looks a thousand times more tantalizing like this than he ever has before. He reminds himself that he's barely had anything to drink but that doesn't seem to matter.
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by sirenangel on Sat Jun 18, 2016 3:06 am

Ludger can feel his chest tighten. Julius was way too eager to get drunk with him. It turns him on way more than it should. He makes a very embarrassing noise, but he's too drunk to care much.

"Yes..." He mumbles, biting his lip again, trying hard to stifle his impulses. It's not working well at all because he's got a hand at Julius's thigh. "Muuuch better."
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Re: Liquid Courage

Post by Axton on Sat Jun 18, 2016 3:12 am

Julius pretends not to notice even though it's the only thing he can focus on. He should push Ludger away, move away from him but instead he lets him have his way, just this once.

"Good," he says and his hands cup Ludger's face of their own accord. "Next time we'll drink more together, alright?"
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