Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Page 1 of 3 1, 2, 3  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:38 pm

Ludger is told it's not permanent and that he'll remember everything eventually. It will just take time. Ludger has always been the patient sort, so this doesn't bother him.

What does bother him is the fact that the most ridiculously gorgeous man he's ever laid eyes on insists that they're brothers. It's completely unfair and he's not quite sure he believes him, no matter how many times Julius tells him it's the truth. They live together, do everything together. They practically act like they're married. Ludger is convinced that this is all just some sort of prank by his lover just to harass him for being stupid enough to lose his memory in the first place. So, he goes by his instincts and treats his so-called brother like his boyfriend. It feels so natural, except for the part where Julius rejects all of his advances. But he can't hold out forever, if he's right that they're lovers, anyway. He'll look real stupid if they really are brothers.

God, he hopes they aren't really brothers.

"Julius," Ludger says and he smiles softly at him. "I made dinner again. Your favorite." He motions to the table he's already set up. "Take a break from your work and come eat."

Ludger still hasn't gotten the hang of cooking again yet but he's trying his damndest. Julius has cringed and eaten all of it so far, but he has a good feeling about this one.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:50 pm

Julius was horrified when Ludger was hurt and didn't recognize him, that much will always be true and he can't stop thinking about how Ludger looked at him, baffled, face scrunched up like when he tries to figure out some sort of puzzle. The emotion he's still unsure about, however, is the one he felt as soon as Ludger pulled him into a deep kiss that was decidedly NOT familial. Even after explaining their situation he still was greeted with a lusty grin and a grope at his ass.

Certainly he's had these thoughts before--the idea that Ludger might be looking at him when he's not looking, the faint inkling that maybe Ludger whispered his name at night--but he's never thought of acting on them, ever. That would be the cruelest thing he could think of. Ludger deserved better than that. But now he's... doing those things Julius thought of in his weaker moments.

He definitely misses Ludger's real cooking, but it'd be cruel not to eat what he makes anyways.

"Ludger, you really don't have to cook while you're unwell, honestly." He hopes that doesn't sound rude, but it is true. He rises from his work (which he has thrown himself deep into in order to avoid being around Ludger so much. He seats himself and tests the food out--impressively, it's gotten a lot better.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:55 pm

Ludger smirks smugly upon seeing Julius' decidedly positive reaction this time.

"It's coming back to me," Ludger says as he pulls off his apron and sits down across from Julius. He toys other his food and occupies himself by brushing his leg up against Julius'. "The cooking part, anyway. Everything else is...fuzzy at best."
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:58 pm

He almost chokes on his food when Ludger touches him. "It's good. You're getting a lot better." He says, managing to keep his tone as normal as he possibly can. "...I'm sure everything else will fall into place." It is impossibly hard not to return his touch, but Julius stifles that part of himself and tries to simply smile and eat.

"How was your day today?" He asks, trying desperately to keep his mind off it.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:04 am

"Hm. It was good, I guess. It's too bad I can't go back to work until I remember how to cook, though," he muses and finally tastes the dish. It is much better. Still missing something, though... it's frustrating, but Ludger reminds himself over and over again that there's nothing to be done about it.

Ludger sighs and leans back in his chair, deciding he's not very hungry after all. This position allows him to brush his leg further against Julius' anyway, so he just enjoys that part and forgets about eating for the time being.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:10 am

"I think at this rate, you'll be back in no time. So don't be too worried about it." His voice is emphatic, but he doesn't make eye contact exactly, just a slight glance for a moment. He continues to eat if only because he's praying it'll give him a distraction from that closeness. It's absolutely infuriating and were he a weaker man he would throw the dishes off the table and take him right there, brother or no--but he has willpower remaining.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:14 am

Ludger sits upright at the table suddenly and looks off into the distance, completely zoning out for a good 30 seconds. Then, he says, "I have a good friend named Jude, right? Short, spiky hair, do-gooder to the extreme." He says this as if he's not also a do-gooder by nature.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:16 am

Well, if you looked in the dictionary, Jude's picture would be there. He nods, leaning onto his elbows at the table. "Yes, you do. Definitely a do-gooder, but so are you." He chuckles. "You remember him now?"
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:23 am

"Sort of." Ludger decides to keep the specific memory that came to him to himself, because it's both hilariously awkward and intimately personal. "Ahh," he sighs but he looks distinctly more cheerful than before. "I want to talk to him about it but..." It felt awkward to hang out with someone you couldn't remember well, especially since he got the feeling they were close.

Yet, with Julius, it felt natural. Even though he was missing so much it never felt awkward with him. He was grateful for that much, at least.

Ludger shrugged it off. He could dwell on that later. Right now, he was a man on a mission. And that mission was getting Julius to drop the whole brother act.

"Wanna watch TV together?" He asks and he bats his eyelashes in a way he hopes will make it impossible for Julius to resist.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:28 am

"Well, Jude has always been easy to get along with for nearly everyone who's ever met him." Except Ivar, who refused to get along with anyone but cats. "So I doubt he'd reject you in this state." He feels cruel for wishing his brother would try talking to Jude instead of spending time with him, but like this he was too difficult to be around...

At the request he can feel his heart pound only faster. His beautiful eyes... He takes in a sharp breath and sighs, averting his eyes.

"I... suppose. But only a couple of shows, I have to get back to work."
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:39 am

Ludger tries not to grin like the smug idiot he is but his smile betrays him regardless. He sits in the middle of the couch so that Julius has no choice but to sit on either side of him, next to the armrests. A position he's sure to use to his advantage. He chooses a suitable movie and then nuzzles against Julius. He couldn't protest this much, at least, right? Not that he intended to stop at this.

"...thank you for spending time with me while I recover," he says with genuine appreciation in his voice.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:45 am

Julius can feel his chest tightening at the closeness, his jaw clenching almost subconsciously, where Ludger clings to him feels as if it's on fire. His heart is pounding like it never has before and it makes him almost feel... sick. He brings his arm back over the edge of the couch and tries not to look at his brother for fear of getting caught in his eyes again.

"It's my job. I'm your brother, after all." He says, and while he knows his voice is slightly strained it does sound convincing.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:52 am

Ludger frowns slightly at Julius' insistence upon that. It just seems so...wrong. He looks up at Julius and admires him like he knows he's done so often before. His strong jaw, those deep blue eyes, vibrant even behind his glasses.

He reaches up without thinking and pulls Julius' glasses from his face and examines him. He looks different without his glasses. Not in a bad way, but it just doesn't look quite like him. But he can see his eyes better this way and once he realizes what he'd done without thinking his gave flushes red.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:57 am

He's alarmingly hot in this proximity to Ludger, and it's definitely affecting him. It's only more clear when Ludger takes his glasses off--he reaches to his hand as he does so and even with that light of a touch his hand draws back with a slight shiver. He's still clear as day in Julius's eyes, near-sightedness being the only reason he needs the glasses anyways. He clenches his jaw in an attempt to force himself to behave. He wants to stare at him still. Stare more, keep closer, kiss him deeply again, hold him down until he calls--no.

No. He exhales and turns away from him, but doesn't push him away.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:02 am

"S...sorry," Ludger mutters weakly because his heart is pounding in his chest and his face feels unnaturally hot. Julius really is he most gorgeous man he's ever laid eyes on. He places Julius' glasses back onto his face and pulls away slightly, but their legs are still touching. "I just wanted a better look at your face, is all...I thought it might trigger some memories," he explains but it sounds like an excuse even to his own ears.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:06 am

It's only getting more and more difficult to fight his urges. "It's... alright." He says, but it isn't. It's not. It's absolutely not okay how bad he wants him. He tries to focus on the movie, desperately, his fingers digging into the couch. That doesn't work.

He forces himself to stand up. He knows the blood had flown places he wishes it hasn't, but he doesnt turn so Ludger could see it.

"Ludger, you have to stop this. I'm not lying to you, and I wouldn't lie to you." He states, flatly, his hand covering his scalding face. "We cannot do this."
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:14 am

"But..." Ludger insists, despite the fact that he's pretty sure Julius isn't lying at this point and it's causing him to become both confused snd conflicted. Because if Julius really is telling the truth, then these feelings... these feelings are horribly, horribly wrong. But it's not as if he can control them. It was like this from the moment he woke up. The overwhelming sensation had made his heart ache. That was why he'd been so, so sure from the beginning that they must be involved somehow.

"...you're really not just messing with me?" Ludger says quietly as he attempts to sort out his feelings, feelings for which he has no context for which only serves to upset him further.

Ludger doesn't want to think about the fact that these feelings might persist even if, or perhaps especially if, Julius really is his brother.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:25 am

"It would be nothing but cruelty to make you think we were lovers, Ludger." He clenches his fist, as if he's feeling physical pain. "...I couldn't do that to you. We've been together our whole lives."

All he wants is him. All he wants is to pin him right there and act on these disgusting feelings. The thought of these feelings lingering forever makes him want to die. "...I won't deny that I want you. I won't deny that you've shown these... feelings before this. But we can't. Nothing good could come of this."
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:34 am

Ludger buries his head in his hands and tries to clear his head but it's all so confusing. It was probably natural to become attached to your brother if you've been together your whole life, right? Although, this is taking it a bit far to be considered a childhood crush before learning better. These feelings are so strong it's suffocating. How had he dealt with these before, on what he imagines must be a daily basis? How did he manage to get through the day like this?

"...and what good comes of denying it day in and day out, of acting like these feelings don't exist?" He asks and he can hear his voice crack as he says it. The words sound all too familiar. It makes him feel sick to think he might be repeating the same thing he's said before when he knows the inevitable outcome.

Rejection.

Julius rejecting him. He's clearly had to do it before. Did he at least let him down gently, he wonders bitterly.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:38 am

"I don't know." He pauses, heaving a weak breath. "I don't know! I never have! I've wanted you for years! I have spent day after day thinking about you like some fucking disgusting monster, like an older brother should never think of his brother and yet I'm still like this." He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Ludger, please, try to push it away. Because if this keeps happening I don't know what I'll do." He feels like death.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:50 am

"What if I don't want to!" Ludger snaps finally and he can't take it anymore. "I've never wanted to!" He's not even sure how he knows this, he's running all on instinct at this point.

"If you want to torture yourself like this forever, then fine! I won't stop you but I don't want to pretend like I don't love you with every fiber of my being!" Ludger knows he must sound petulant and childish but all of this feels like a long time coming and he can't stop it from coming out even though he knows he's said more than enough regrettable shit for one day.

"I don't care what you do! I just want to know that you don't think...I'm broken."

He's sure know that he's said these words before.

"I just want to know that you still love me no matter how I feel, that you don't think I'm some sort of disgusting, gross person for feeling like this."

And then, before he can stop it, memories come flooding back. They've definitely had this conversation before. Or at least, close enough. It hurt then just as much as it hurts now. Ludger had only been 16. He'd so desperately wanted Julius then but by his urging had tried so, so hard to pretend he didn't. He wasn’t even good at hiding it but it had lasted for all this long, at least.

At least now he knew for sure that Julius really was his brother. It did not comfort him as it should have.

"I'm sorry," Ludger can feels the tears coming on but he refuses to let them come. "I'm sorry I'm so awful."
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:56 am

He can feel the tears at his eyes. This conversation hurt the first time, and it hurt only worse now. Ludger is everything to him. The entire world, the rest of the universe didn't matter if Ludger was there. Ludger was anything but broken. Ludger was too important.

"You are not awful. You are not broken." He says, his voice weak, softer than ever. He turns back to him, a hand shaking as it rests onto Ludger's shoulder. "You're everything. I love you so much it burns me up. I love you more than I can even admit." He draws him into a tight hug, stifling a strong urge to weep against him. He's supposed to be better than this.

"I love you so much, Ludger."
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:04 am

Ludger gives into the embrace even if it's not what he was truly hoping for. He laces his fingers behind Julius' back and buries his head in his chest. Upset as he is, it's hard not to enjoy getting to feel his chest, to get to inhale his scent. He smells so good, just like he always has.

It isn't fair. It's not fair that he won't give in and let Ludger have what he so desperately wants. The thoughts make him feel 16 again but nothing had changed.

"...I love you to, Julius," he sighs and refuses to let him go just yet. He's not done. He so rarely gets the chance for physical contact now that they've imposed such strict standards upon their relationship.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by sirenangel on Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:08 am

He can't just let him go, not yet. His heart is in his throat and his tears are fogging his glasses and all he wants is Ludger. It's not fair. It isn't fair he has to stop him.

He loosens his hold slightly, and all it takes for his resolve to snap, which has endured for so many years, is the sight of Ludger nearly in tears at his hands. He's slow, and it's hesitant, but his hands cup Ludger's cheeks and draw his face into a kiss--deep, but gentle, careful, almost solemn.
avatar
sirenangel
Admin

Posts : 2295
Join date : 2016-03-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Axton on Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:14 am

Ludger isn't sure what's changed but he sure as hell isn't going to waste the opportunity. He knows he is too eager to kiss back and his hands are too rough as they dig into the fabric of Julius' clothes but he can't help it. He's wanted this for years. For as long as Julius has, if not longer.

Ludger wants all of Julius all at once and he's pulling Julius as close as possible and kissing him fervently, as if this may be the only opportunity he gets.
avatar
Axton
Admin

Posts : 2287
Join date : 2016-03-25
Age : 22

http://nocishetsallowed.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Amnesia Sure Is Cliche, Ain't it?

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 3 1, 2, 3  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum